monthly confession

you know how I used to go on and on insisting
for an answer like a curious child.
not anymore.
Afterall, if you couldn't care less about someone,
I can do a million and get none in return.
If you do care, then you won't act this way.

hurt like I've never felt before.
if only you had insist not to put down the phone.
I might have felt better;
although I know it ain't gonna change a thing,
but I really do know that would have made me
feel so much better.
If I were any less stronger, my heart would have
been shattered a million times by now.

You were my reason to be strong & yet;
every reason to make me fall apart.

my life, what now? what's ahead of me?
what's awaiting me tomorrow, next month, next year, next decade?
Is this my deserving or will someone save me from this?