=(

She said I'm leaving Cos she can't take the pain
It's hard to continue this love it ain't the same
Can't forget the things that I've done inside her brain
Too many lies committed too many games
She feeling like a fool getting on the last train
Trying to maintain but the feeling won't change
I'm sorry for the things that I've done
I don't know the reason why I did these things

I'm totally pissed. School's bad, blister from new shoes, I feel real crappy. I have to put up a strong front till my parents are asleep, which is like now... Today's such a bad day. By the time I reach this line, I can hardly see what I am typing already, tears keeps falling for no reason, I bet I'll have a hard time falling asleep.I hope all this is just pms or sth, I am just in a real bad mood , don't wanna affect anyone else, so I just gotta straighten out my thoughts through the lonely night praying for a better tommorow. All by myself cause that's what all I have. Never feel as lonely as now, never thought the night passes that slowly. I think I am tired, I just feel like breaking free from everything, take it as I'm a coward who lacks courage, I am just too afraid to look ahead of me. I wish one day I'll wake up, not remembering what happened the day before, the past month, the past year. Only then can I really start my journey once again.

Never hold my hand, if you mean to break my heart,
Never look into my eyes, if you are telling me a lie,
Never lock my heart up, if you don't have the keys,
Never say you love me, if you just can't be there.

Unbreak my heart, although I doubt, and I doubt you will...

counting down the time.

Haven't found time to update for the past few days. Well, been busy shopping and settling some presents for my beloveds.I went to bugis with my mum today.. Just bought another skirt ;) well, I've got good and bad news...

Good news!! It's less than 48 hours time to seeing my darling!! haven't seen him so long and he's finally back!! I miss him... It's like yesterday that he just left for Australia for another school term. I could still remember vividly how we parted at jp and how hard I cried when I see him walked away, It wasn't easy but I'm glad it's over.
People, I don't know when's the next time I'm updating my blog cause I'll probably spent all the time I have with him, other than sleeping and studying.. Seriously, I would consider not going school or miss some sleeping time for his sake. Those who are close to me would know he means the world to me, although I don't know for how long more... but anyway that's not important, cause he's only back for a month and I don't wanna waste time thinking about such stuffs, at least I know for now, I just wanna be with him...
Darling, Missing you always.. can't wait to see you. =P

Okay, now the bad news, I still got a freaking so-called common test coming up..and I didn't know till my classmate reminded me on friday la...argh!! pissed! Anyway, I just gotta study study STUDY!!!!!!!!!
btw, sorry minghui.. for pangseh-ing you for tommorow's date. You know how much I love shopping too..but..*sobs* see you soon dearie! And like I've said, he's back.. so ya, if you wanna meet me the next few weeks, you'll see him too.. but I'm sure you won't mind.. hor?? hee...
anyway, I'll blog when I blog, so will update when I got time to spare.. take care people, and good luck to all in JC~ study hard.. :)

project freak!

I tell you, sometimes I don't quite what's the use of project.. okay, I mean you can get to learn how to work with others and blah blah blah and all that, it's good. But I mean, must a report be that long and lengthy. It's such a drag la. I've been doing project non stop since morning, just at the mac at marina. I bet I've killed about us many brain cells as I use in a week just for today... I hate it!! I hate long lengthy projects. period.

By right I'm suppose to meet stella but ya, for some reason, which I dun want to spell it cause she'll probably kill me if she sees it, and she didn't come over. hahahah... So I drag myself out of bed and went to meet her at boon lay mrt before I meet my group mates for project, and I got the stuff I bought online from her. The La Senza stuff I bought was great!! I'm happy!! but I regret not getting more of them cause it's really cheap and worth it. There'e a mango sales starting from tomorrow onwards... I can't wait to chiong over man!! I'll see who's free to pei me go for a shopping spree once again!! Then again, there goes my money.. =X

boredom

blogging using bell's labtop, kinda wierd la... the keyboard is kinda smaller so not use to it.
I am damn bored bored bored bored bored. -_-"
No one entertain me la, I dunno what stella and bell and her mum doing outside la.. I'm just surfing random blogs and friendster-ing... meeting my mum in a while. hope got alot of stuff to buy at jp. pray :)

sad

Last week of the holidays, today is probably the last day for me to stay home and slack till school reopen cause for the rest of the week, I'm probably out in town with my friends or I'll be busy with my project. ='( Just tidy up the whole house this morning by myself, the whole house is spick and span and even my mum was impressed. I bet she hopes I'll do it every week ;) I watched "all about love" just now, really touching and sweet.

I'm counting down every minutes and seconds till next week this time. ;)

shopping.

My mum and I, we met my aunt and we went to raffles place to shop. I realise that actually there is alot of good stuff over there. We bought like four or five pairs of shoes. Then went to citylink and I got a night dress and we met stella. Afterwhich I saw this top that I really REALLY wanted to buy but ya, I didn't, cause my mum was like " you just bought a similiar top dear." Well if it's meant to be then it's meant to be. I'll see if it's still around the next time I'm there. Our last stop was at VNC where stella got a pair of real high heels. I wonder how many inch that was, but the thing is, it looks good on her. I also told her to inform me in advance if she's wearing this pair of heels out with me, so that I'll wear heels too. Even if I don't, she had better not step on my toes with that, AGAIN!!
okay, that's about it for today, it's been a long day and my legs are breaking. I'm just gonna slack till my darling calls me. Well at least I am expecting his call, although I kinda pissed him off yesterday.. =S
anyway, good night, people.sweet dreams to all. *yawns

hmmm...

Yesterday, I went to bell's place early in the morning after I woke up. She was playing neopet early in the morning la, LoL. After an hour or two, we went over to town to meet sher, mh and Lz. We slack and crap like how we used to do. It was a great day out, for it's been a long time since we had a gathering like this. Oh ya, not forgetting that me and bell went to have our nails done while waiting for the girls to arrive.

After having dinner, we went to Indochine for a drink.I ordered a chocolate martini, which was okay. Sher actually made a dedication to us but we went to the toilet and I mean all of us. -_-" We're curious about what she wrote so we keep pestering her to say it to us, but she was against it, so we didn't bother about it. Nevertheless, we're still curious about it, well at least for me, I am.

I reach home at about 11 plus, really tired so I just went straight to sleep. I don't know what I had that didn't agree with my stomach, so I kinda woke up in the middle of the night, walk right into the toilet peacefully and....... vomitted -_-" well, I'll save the details though. Anyway the main point was, my mum actually woke up right after hearing me. It was either I was too loud in the toilet vomiting away or it was just her instinct. whichever it is, at that moment, I was thinking to myself, my mum really cares alot about me. Well, so was my dad cause he woke up to get me medicine and a drink. They made me realise such a simple act can show how much they care. I was wondering to myself if I ever have kids would I be as selfless towards them like my parents. They kept me wondering...

well, to begin with, I can't even take care of myself. =X Maybe I haven't had enough fun yet, and still trying to explore what the world has in store for me. Well, who knows one day, I'll settle down with someone and lead a peaceful life...

oh well, I love my parents although I've always showered more care for others rather then them. I feel guilty.

okay, so much for all that stuff...

For now, gotta go shopping again... ;)

confusions...

I was on the phone with my boyfriend last night, we'll talking about the "funny habit" of singaporeans.
So have you ever wondered what's your first line when you bump a long-lost friend or someone you know??
Well, we'll be expecting like "hey, how are you?" or perhaps "how's it going??". That's not the case cause, We realised most of us started with " where're you going?" does it sounds wierd or does it ring a bell ?!?! Just observe what your friends will say to you, and you realise it's true at least for our generation.
I mean, do you really have nothing else to say other than that, do you even really care where that person ,you talking to, is going? maybe it's just because you've got no topic to talk about. and people don't really reply to stuff like "how are you?", cause they'll just reply a one word thing, like "ok,eh good."
wonder what's the world becoming to? and people can even ask questions like, "you going school ah?" when the person is freaking wearing school uniform, or maybe when you are in a queue of a club, people still ask questions like, "clubbing eh??". This is unnecessary of an conversation cause it's like duh~~ -_-"

In conclusion, we don't understand people.

yawns.-

people, don't ask me why I started a new blog. cause I just felt like it. I deleted the old one, don't bother finding it. I'm turning 18 this year, it's like a new stage in life, so hence the change. hope I'll be a little more mature, understanding and considerate to others from now.no more fun, cause secondary ended long long ago. I'm just on my way into another arduous journey ahead,but no matter what life goes on, even if you feel there's nothing left in the world for you to reminise about, life still goes on...

As I see a little more of the dark side of the world, the more I am engulfed by it. Trust me, cause I'll keep a part of that innocence and pureness in me, that awaits to be unleashed and to see the light once more again, in my life. I will and I shall...

just had breakfast, cause stella woke me up!! nah, not true .can't blame her cause actually it was an anonymous call that woke me up from my sweet dream, don't let me know who you are, I'll whack you upside down.
seems like a nice sunny day to go to the beach today, but ya.. I'm meeting my mum later. supposedly meeting bell and sher for dinner, but bell has got a date, so pangseh la..tsk tsk*shake head* so ya... we'll make it tommorrow I guess.

one more week till the reopen of poly, so boring la..I hope I pass my papers.pray.I don't wanna go back to school man... but I heard we're gonna have starbucks in school.. it's great!! on the contrary, there goes my money. argh!! mummy if you see this.. more pocket money please~ MORE!! ;)

tsktsktsk...

tv makes people stupid.period.
I think I'm beyond hope already.

never thought of sharing my life with someone till I met you.
no matter what I do, all I think about is you.
I think I love you. I think I do.

nothing beats having good friends, who will be there when you need them, doesn't matter how long you've lost contact with them, cause you know they will always have a place in your heart.I know people do change and we can't always be forever young and be leading a carefree life .How I wish I can make time come to a stop, where everything seems as pure as ever.All that after-school hangout,reading magazine in class, returning to class late from recess, looking at upper sec or random cute guys that passes-by when we are out in town and all that craping we have all the time.Time flies, all that good old days, can never happen again. Still, I love them deep in my heart, I'm sure they know who they are, I just wanna say no matter what, I love you girls all the same from then till now.

From the bottom of my heart, I'm missing you girls.-

random thoughts

love or lust? we can't quite figure it out most of the time, don't we?? it's either you love the person too much to reject them or you are simply too impulsive and lustful at the point of time. when you are young, it's hard to identify what you really want in life, simply because you just don't know why you're living. I ever came across this quote in a book "love like you've never been hurt before." It doesn't make sense to me, because if you really love that someone, would you forget about how they've hurt you that easily, and if you don't then this sentence doesn't applies to you then. so do you really love that someone you are seeing now? or is it just loneliness that bines the two of you. no one knows, except you.-